Last week, Rach shared her story of cruising through Europe, and not too long ago some wonderful explorer friends of mine shared their experiences studying abroad in Europe.
This week, I'd like to join in on the conversation and share my experience study abroad in Germany. Strap in, it's gonna be a long one this week!
Contents
What is the CSSG Program?
I studied abroad on the CSSG Program - Canadian Summer School in Germany Program - back in 2022 for 6 weeks, meaning it's been over 2 years now since I went. This program is run through St. Mary's university in Nova Scotia, but is open to Canadian and American students (I believe this also included international students studying in either country, so long as they had the appropriate visas).
For this program, I had to fill out a transfer credit form that my department at my home university had to sign and approve. It ensured that the credits I earned from this program would count towards my degree. At my university, each class I took counted as half credits towards my degree, but this program counted as one whole credit, or the same as taking 2 classes; travel and more credits, why not?
The draw back for some though could be the price as this program was quite expensive if I'm honest. I had to pay tuition fees to St. Mary's university that was over a grand, a program fee that was over 5 grand, flights that were close to 2 grand, as well as a few incidental fees. Include all the expenses while on the program such as food, gifts, shopping, etc. and it really adds up.
Not to mention, outside of the program I had to continue paying rent for my apartment back home for the 6 weeks I was away, as well as all my bills (internet, phone, etc.). With all these costs in mind, I ended up paying a little over 10k for this program.
I did, thankfully, get some scholarship and bursaries from my university to help fund this program though.
Flights
The flight over I remember was quite nice and not as daunting as an international flight could be. This is because, as part of the program, we sent our flight details to the organizers, then they matched us up with the other students taking the same flights. I ended up having 3 other students on my flight, which made me feel much less alone and much less anxious when getting on the long 8 hour flight.
My group ended up arriving in Frankfurt Airport around 6am German time and our pick up time wasn't until 1pm, so we had to hang out around the airport for hours while more of us trickled in from the various flights across Canada and the US. When the organizers did arrive, we took a coach bus to Hann. Münden where we stayed at a hostel before moving onto Kassel, Germany, the city where this program was taking place.
For the flight home, I remember many of us left very early, 5am I believe, on the same coach to drive back to Frankfurt Airport. Like when we arrived, there was some time to kill before our flights, so we hung out together before parting ways.
I remember, the night before my flight, my host parents and I went to the grocery store for snacks. She knew I'd be leaving quite early and that I had so much time before my flight. With this in mind, she kindly chopped up and packed me some fruits, which I ate and shared with the other students.
I was also leaving with 2 suitcases and 1 carry on this time, instead of 1 of each like when I arrived. My host mom let me borrow one of her suitcases thankfully. It was definitely a pain lugging the 3 of them around the airport on my own, so I definitely recommend packing less on to the way to knowing you'll be taking more on the way back.
School
On this program, I studied German at the C1 level and DaF teaching. I initially only applied for the DaF teaching course, but since I was the only student who applied, they had to split my time between the 4th year course and the DaF course. This meant that I spent my mornings with the 4th year students and the afternoons throughout the other classes doing teaching observations or micro-teaches.
As well, during some of the office hours, I would help the other students with their assignments and/or tutor them. I would also shadow some of the professors as they helped their students.
We did our classes in person, in a building that is apart of Kassel University. We still had to wear masks during our classes and while on the coach bus since I went on this program during the tail end of the pandemic.
I remember the program being very fast paced academically. I had a lot of readings and writing to do for both my DaF course and the C1 course. I had to make notes and turn them in for all the observations I did. I had to prep a lesson I would later teach, I was thrown in to teach some sections of classes, I proctored and answered questions during the exams for the other students, etc.
At times, it really did feel like I was taking 2 full courses in the span of 6 weeks. It was overwhelming at times, but I learned a lot and gained a lot of valuable resources.
Once a week, we would have coffee and tea, sometimes snacks too, provided by the school for our first break of the day. On the other days, many of the students went to the little cafe and eatery the was right next to the school during these snack breaks. On our lunch breaks, we often went to the Mesa or cafeteria at the school, or, like me, ate a packed lunch from home.
To get to class each day, I took a tramp and a bus from my host family's house. It took about half an hour to get to class in the mornings since they lived farther out of the city centre.
Host Family
While on this program, I lived with a host family. Since the organizers knew from my application that I was interested in becoming a language teacher, they gave me to a host family whose mom was a teacher. She taught at a school in town and taught a variety of subject, English included.
This same host family had a son who was celiac and a daughter - away at school - who was vegetarian/vegan. The organizers really did take special care in matching me to a family I would be best suited for.
During this program, my host mom let me join her at school a few times to share Canadian culture and speak English with her students. They asked me lots of questions about Canada such as, "Have you ever seen a bear?" and many questions about our marijuana laws. Back at the house, I would also help my host mom grade English assignments from her students from time to time.
I also observed one of her coworker's classes which was a DaF course. There were students from all over the world, many from the Ukraine at the time, that were there learning German. It was fascinating to watch as she taught them German in German. It reminded me a lot of the class I used to be in in Germany when we moved there. It was an interesting experience to be on the other side of it this time.
My host family had a beautiful home; I felt very spoiled to be staying with them. They had a beautiful big garden that my host mom would do yoga in, their own personal sauna in the backyard, and a sweet old dog.
I stayed in the fully equit downstairs apartment unit that they sometimes rented out on Airbnb. I had my own entrance, patio, bathroom, laundry line, awning, kitchenette, dining table, couch, closet, and bed (of course). It was honestly such a beautiful and private place to stay. If you are ever traveling in Kassel, Germany, you must stay here!
I definitely miss my host mom a lot. She was really kind and accommodating. I remember one morning I woke up with a sore voice, so she went out to the garden, picked a few leaves that smelled like Vicks vapour rub, then made a tea out of them for me.
When it was time to go back to Canada, she gave me a book about Kassel and put pictures of us in the front of it so I would always have something to look back on. She took such good care of me and was so understanding.
I think I feel a lot of guilt towards her because I don't believe I was the best guest daughter I could've been for her, but more on that later.
Travels
During the program, we went to 5 different cities and 1 other country. Kassel, Germany is where we stayed for most of the program, but in the 6 weeks I was on this program, we spent 11 days traveling.
We started the journey in Hann. Münden. Here, we spent 4 days at a hostel getting our barring, getting to know everyone, going over the program rules, and exploring the city.
I remember we went on a day walk where the guide told us about how the city used to flood often, so there were these markings all over the buildings that showed how high the waterline was and what day it occurred on.
We also did a night walk throughout the town as a guide told us spooky stories/folk tales of the city; how they used to bury cats in the foundation of buildings for good luck. It was a strange, but an interesting evening.
Hann. Münden wasn't that far away from Kassel, it was only about an hour or so drive away on the coach bus. Once we arrived, we met up with our host families and went with them to our homes for the next 6 weeks.
6 days went by before our next adventure. We went to the Bayern arena where we watched a soccer game between Leverkussen and Freiburg. They were giving us Danke Rudi shirts before entering the arena, so we looked the part for sure.
I've never been a big sports fan, but this was actually a lot of fun. The energy in the arena was electrifying. The fans of each team were so lively, screaming their fan chants and whenever their team scored a goal.
After 4 more days back in Kassel, we went off on a 3 day trip to the city of Trier with one of the days turning into a few hours in Luxembourg since we were so close.
I was under the impression that they spoke German in Luxembourg, but it's rather the opposite. They do speak some German, but it seems most speak French or Luxembourg-ish. Given that we were in a touristy spot, most of the vendors spoke English, which was lucky because if they didn't speak German, I don't speak French or Luxembourg-ish.
While in Luxembourg, I went to the musuem of nautral history and art, the Mudam Museum, and explored the Notre-Dam Cathedral in Luxembourg. I really enjoy checking out museums while traveling, espeically art and/or history. It's often quiet, there's something to learn and/or admire, and can be done alone.
Both the museums I went to were wonderful! The natural hisotry museum was so interesting to explore. They organized the museum by floor, with the bottom floor being the neanderthals and the top floor being modern day. They have a 3D vitual tour you can do for each floor right here.
The Mudam museum was something we did as a group, though I did still end up exploring majority of the museum on my own. This museum is absolutely massive! I parituclarly enjoyed the more abstract style art they had one display. I specifically remember the installation from Cecilia Bengolea and the installation from Martine Feipel & Jean Bechameil.
The Notre-Dam Cathedral was breath-taking. The organ they had on display was fully function and I was so lucky to hear it being tuned. The accoustics of the cathedral and the deep roar of the organ was amazing to experience in person.
It was also a place I took solace in. I always find it very healing and calming to be in religious/spirtual places such as these.
Beyond the museum visits, there was one memorable moment for me during this specific trip. I was looking up at a statue in the city centre when a woman approached me wanting to talk to me. She asked me if I spoke German and, being that I was on a German program to practice and improve my German, I said yes.
She then proceeded to lecture me on the COVID19 pandemic and how she felt about the way Germany and Canada were handling it all. It was very awkward and uncomfortable for me, especially since I didn't catch every word she was saying.
In Trier, I spent some time exploring the Trier Dom and the Karl Marx Museum.
The Trier Dom was an absolutely massive work of art. The high, arched ceilings, the golden details, the statues. Everything in here was a treat to witness with my own eyes. As with the cathedral in Luxembourg, this holy place of worship was such a calming and outstanding place to be. Churches such as these, put Canadian ones to shame.
The Karl Marx museum, you guessed it, details facts about his life and life's work of Marxism. The building where this museum is located, is actually the house where he was born back in the early 1800's. Many exhibits were in both English and German, meaning you don't need to know German to explore this fascinating museum. Definitely recommend checking out!
After Luxembourg, there was a 4 day trip to Berlin, which happened to be during my birthday. We saw the Berlin Philharmonic (absolutely beautiful!) and during my free time, I went to the Berlin Zoo.
At this zoo was the first time I'd ever seen animals like elephants and giraffes in person. I gotta say, giraffes are smaller than I imagined. I also went into the aquarium side of the zoo which was super cool since I got to see lots different kinds of lizards and fish.
On one of the free days, my host parents took me to Bremen, a neighbouring city full of history. There was a statue of the fairy tale Die Bremer Stadtmusikanten, we did some light shopping, and ate at a little cafe in town.
At every place, except Luxembourg and Bermen, we stayed a hostels. This was my first time experiencing dorm life since I never lived in residence in university and I gotta say, it was interesting to say the least. I wouldn't choose it if I had a choice, but I didn't completely hate the experience.
Each time we stayed at a hostel, we had different roomies from program. I remember liking my roomates in Hann. Münden and Trier, but much less so in Berlin. In Hann. Münden and Trier, my romies were pretty quiet and chill people. In Berlin however, one of my roomates went out to party for the night and when she came back, she was so drunk that she spent the rest of the night throwing up in a trashcan.
We had bunk beds in this room and she was on the bottom bunk across from my bunk. The girl underneath me was trying her best to help the girl who getting sick. I felt bad for not helping the sick girl, but I'm the type of person who will throw up if I'm involved. I spoke to one of my other roommates the next day and she said the same thing.
Challenges
When I think back on my time on this program, I find I have a lot of feelings of upset and regret - probably not what you were expecting to hear.
Prior to going on this program, I had spent a month living in Austin, Texas, came home for 2 weeks, then left for Germany. It was during the 2 weeks that I was home that I found out my cat of 17 years had cancer and a heart murmur, so there was nothing we could do for her. The vet said she wouldn't do well on anesthesia because of the murmur and her cancer was pretty far along.
I felt a ton of guilt going on the program still. Even though I had people in my home throughout all of the 6 weeks watching over her, by the time I got home, she had gotten much worse. She had a tumor on her tummy that was growing and losing fur.
Her skin was stretching and breaking, causing an infection that I tried treating and wrapping. She had to wear a sweater, so she wouldn't lick at it. I was waking up every 2 hours to check that her sweater hadn't come off, she wasn't licking the area, etc.
It got to a point where I knew she wouldn't recovery and get better, but rather the opposite. Letting her go was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
During the program, I had a lot of struggles with my living situation as well. In Canada, I had been living on my own for about 6 years at that point, so living with a family again was an adjustment for sure.
I remember my host mom packed a school lunch for me one day and I felt like such a burden. I was one of the oldest students on the program, so it felt a bit strange to have someone care for me like that again, especially after so many years of cooking and packing my own lunch back home. It was a kind gesture, but I struggled with it a lot. I remember reaching out to one of the professors for advice and not getting the kindest response.
I also remember trying to be a good guest daughter by making breakfast for everyone one morning only to find out they don't each breakfast in the mornings. It made things quite awkward for me. In fairness, I should've asked, but I wanted it to be a surprise.
I think felt like I was burden to them a lot of the time; as though I wasn't the guest daughter there were hoping for. This was of course, through no fault of their own, but rather mine. I was, and continue to be, a fairly independent person, who spoke German well enough to get by on my own. I think the person they were hoping for was someone who needed more support; someone who couldn't read the names of products at the grocery store, who couldn't hold a conversation with service workers, who went to others when they were stressed, etc.
Because of my independent nature, I chose to live in the downstairs unit instead of their daughter's empty bedroom upstairs with everyone else. Someone who was younger than me on this program, who was used to living in a dorm or moving back home in the summer, may have been a better candidate for my host family. But seeing as I was quite independent and didn't really need anything beyond a place to stay, I think I was rather disappointing for them. They never said this of course, it's just my feelings on the matter.
A lot was going on on this program as well, so there were many days where my stress was very high. I often just wanted to be alone to decompress, but then I felt guilty for not spending more time with them. I really did feel like a bad guest daughter for a lot of the program.
I also felt like a bad student for a lot of the program as well. My academic schedule was so all over the place that it was hard to keep up with what was expected of me. There was a lot of confusion surrounding my role; was I a student or a student teacher?
There were days where I would be learning with the rest of them, but then there were days where I was proctoring the final exam for the 2nd year students. Some days I was writing papers on the same topic as the 4th year students, but then there were days where I was teaching a section of the 3rd year lecture. It made it hard for me to connect with anyone.
I didn't know if I was more a part of the student group or teaching group. I tried to befriend a few people on the program, but it never really went well. We did have a tandem partner aspect of the program, but I just couldn't handle another thing to manage, so I don't believe I ever met up with mine.
My diet was also a huge struggle during this entire program. At the time, I was vegetarian, meaning I ate no animals, but could eat animal by-products such as eggs. That said however, I'm also lactose and gluten intolerant, so I can't have most animal by-products such as cheese and milk anyway. This meant I was actually a gluten free vegan who ate eggs. Confusing I know, but it meant I was getting pretty much all my protein from eggs.
I'm also a picky eater, meaning I only like eating eggs in a certain way. If they weren't cooked this way, I wouldn't eat them. This made it hard for me to get the nutrients I needed, and so most of the program I was anemic, which only added to the stress.
My restrictive diet and picky nature made eating out (restaurants, the hostel, etc) challenging and uncomfortable as well. I've never liked eating out at places I haven't been to before because I have a fear that I was will get sick due to cross contamination, or feel that I'm inconveniencing the other people I'm with since I can only go to certain specialty restaurants.
Sitting down for dinners with my host mom was hard in the beginning as well, but eventually we cooked together which eased some of my worries. However, going out to eat with them wasn't always a fun for me.
There was one restaurant they took me to however, that I absolutely fell in love with. It was this Asian restaurant called Ginko that specialized in being lactose and gluten free. This is actually the place I talk about in the podcast I did with the DAAD.
I recognize that this aspect of my challenges was all my own doing. I chose my diet, knowing full well how picky I am, and chose to stick with it. I made things harder than they needed to be in this case.
I'll be so super honest here and say that I was pretty lost and upset for a while after coming home. For the longest time prior to this program, I was always planning on moving to Germany for my career as a second language teacher. But after this program, I came home feeling like quite dejected, as though I couldn't make it there.
But, as everyone was trying to tell me then, time heals all. I've had time reflect on my experiences and decisions, sit with my feels, and come to terms with a lot. I'm now at a place in my life where I feel ready to try again.
I went through a lot on this program, but now when these things happen again, they won't have the same impact since they won't be new and uncertain territory anymore. I know what it's like to be in Germany on my own, I know where to find allergy friendly food, I've experienced German schools as an educator, and so much more. I'm confident now, in my ability to survive and thrive in a situation like this again.
Summary
I don't want to end this blog post of a negative note. Studying abroad can be an absolutely wonderful and eye-opening experience in a multitude of ways.
It will challenge you unlike any other experience. The stress you feel, the obstacles and barriers you face, will be tough at times. But as difficult as it can be, it can also be just as rewarding. So many times I've heard the expression "you get what you give" and it couldn't be more true of study abroad.
As well, I don't want my experience to reflect poorly on the program. The things I went through personally, weren't the program's fault. Interacting with my host family and the other students is my responsibility, not theirs, and my diet was my choice, they did not need to accommodate for me.
The academic side of things though, could've been better planned out for sure. To make sure I got my first choice course however, the DaF course, they did their best to make it work seeing as I was the only student who enrolled.
They could've just canceled that class and put me in with the 4th years full time, but instead tried to give me my first option. Teaching was by far my favourite aspect of the entire program and I wouldn't have had this if they did try to make both work. There were a lot of bumps in the road, but I appreciate the effort they put in.
Advice
If I could give 1 piece of advice to any of you thinking of studying or going abroad, it would be this:
As Selma also commented on in her article, it is so easy to isolate yourself when you're abroad. A lot is going on and it can be overwhelming. Trying to express that in your second language can add to the difficulties for sure. But I cannot stress enough how important it is to reach out to people, not just back home, but also abroad.
Talk to your teachers, talk to the other students, talk with your host family. Make an effort to talk about the ways in which you are struggling. I guarantee you that someone else, even if it's just one other person on your program or around you, will be struggling in a similar way or be able to help. That way my experience for sure.
Commenti