These are some more things my students have said to me over the past few months.
Some are funny, some are sweet, all are burned into my brain.
Recently, one of my students had a supply teacher and when I asked him if he liked his supply teacher, this is what he had to say.
Me: Did you like being with Mr. So and So?
Student: No
Me: Why?
Student: Dude needs to learn to colour outside the lines
When I tell you the amount of control I had to have not to burst out laughing. It was the most control I've ever exercised in my entire teaching career thus far.
I don't even know what that means and I didn't bother asking either.
I did tell the supply teacher what he said and we had a good laugh about it.
My ESL kindergarten student asked me a question not too long ago. This is how it went.
Student: You cottage too?
Me: I can't go to the cottage with you. Cottages are for family. Teachers can't go to the cottage.
Student: Me ask mommy and daddy
Me: Even if mommy and daddy say it's okay, I can't go to the cottage. Mommy, daddy, grandma, and grandpa can go to the cottage, but I can't go buddy. I'm a teacher. Teacher's stay at school.
Student: You dad house?
Me: My dad does live in a different house from me.
Student: You go house ask dad. Say yes, yes cottage. Says no, no cottage.
Me: Even if I ask my dad if I can go, I can't come to the cottage bud. Teacher can't go to cottages.
This wasn't the first time her or her sister has tried to invite me out of school. I remember a time when she refused to go home at the end of the day because I couldn't go with her.
Since she's at the very beginning of her journey with school, she doesn't quite understand the dynamic of a student-teacher relationship yet. It'll take time for her to understand the role of a teacher, but she'll get there eventually.
Not too long ago I was teaching these same ESL students and the older one was trying to tell me a story.
Oftentimes, when they try to tell me stories, they help one another explain when they're missing words. Sometimes however, neither of them know the word, so they draw me pictures. However there are times when that doesn't work either. Thankfully not many, but this time was one of those times.
On this day, the older one drew a picture of poop on her book, which she thought was hilarious. Her drawing then reminded her of a time she recently spent at the cottage. She began to tell me how she went swimming and picked something up from the bottom of the lake. I tried guessing what it might be - water toys, a floaty, etc. - but none of my guesses were right.
The younger sister tried to chime in, but she also couldn't quite explain it. Both of them proceeded to draw me a little picture, but they were both of brown circles, which didn't make it and clearer.
At this point, they were getting a bit frustrated that they couldn't communicate what they wanted, so I decided we would pause the lesson to get some paper and more colours, so that they could draw more detailed pictures.
Both girls ended up drawing water with the bottom being brown. Sand! The word they needed was sand.
Long story short, she was trying to tell me that wet sand looks like poop.
One of my students was reading a story about spider monkeys when he began to ponder something.
He knew that, in the theory of evolution, humans had evolved from monkeys. He had just learned that spider monkeys are called spider monkeys because their long arms, legs, and tails resemble spider limbs.
He then began to wonder if Spiderman had evolved from these spider monkeys. Perhaps they were the predecessors to modern day Spiderman? Such a creative theory!
A teacher that my student had never had before walked by and when she saw her she said, "I don't know you!" really loudly. I told her, while that's not untrue, that's not something you scream at people.
My student then proceeded to tell me she doesn't like her, to which I said "you don't even know her, how can you know you don't like her?". Her response was "because she has brown hair. I know I like you because you have blonde hair and a sense of humour."
One day, I was teaching my classes as I normally do when one of out my students, completely out do no where, asked me "Have you ever farted so hard you cried?". It absolutely took be by surprise, but was not uncharacteristic of this specific student.
My response was of course no, that I had never been asked that question in my lifetime, and likely will never be asked it again, so he wins questions.
Here's to more funny moments with my students!
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